Random thoughts fill my head most of the time. I work at focusing on the positive and downplaying the negative. There is a battle going on in my mind. It helps me focus on the positive when I am creating. I set up art stations in my house. I also have my guitar at the…
Category: PTSD
Leaving is a Process
Why do some days seem so empty… the harshness of such loss has no words. This divorce was more…a death of a person I used to know, or I thought I knew. Not without 3 years of torment, anguish, abuse, shattered heart, tortured spirit, broken trust… even trust in myself, my judgement. I am the…
Abandoned
Crying out blindly Hoping someone will see you drowning… “Stepped out of line”, I heard one say, “I never would have asked that way” frowning… Fingers pointing, judgement calls Job’s good friends repeating “Must have been Something you’ve done” echoed in their greeting
Coming Out of the Dark
First Step….BREATHE! Breathe in as you count 1…2…3…4… slowly exhale and repeat. Deep breaths help keep oxygen flowing to all the places you feel want to shut down. I know it sounds so trivial, shallow, and not very important at this juncture since your whole world has been shattered and there is no solid foundation to steady your feet. Balance? It will come in time.
The Searching
Sometimes it’s the searching that weighs heavy. Laying hard under blankets crushing. Cloud shrouded darkness of thought. Pressure of breathing. To seek beauty and Glory when eyes are barely open as the heart heaves deep in miry clay. Chains of negatively charged particles surround. Breaking free an almost strangled sigh. Give me strength oh Lord….
Stirrings From Inside 